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  خسارة ما تبقى من أمل ضئيل عقب التعرف على شخصين امريكيين يعملون في مؤسسة إنجاز العرب – محاولة التفكير باسم جديد للمؤسسة بائت بالفشل


منطقة الشميساني، الساعة التاسعة صباحا، طفلة في أعلى درج منزلها، وحارس مصري من الحي في اسفل الدرج. يلعبان الكرة..
فسحة امل غير زيادية

انقطاع في الكهرباء يترك شاعرا اعمى يتكلم في ميكروفون صامت لبضع ثوان، سلسلة احداث لا ترحم حتى في ابسط المتع والأمور. الأضواء كانت لا تزال مشتعلة

خاتم بقي في يدي ثلاث ايام.. لم أشعر به او يدايقني سوى عند خلعه في اليوم الرابع

 انا أعيش في بلد – رغم وبسبب- كل سيئاته، يمكن لعائلة جمع ذمم مالية مدتها سنتين كاملتين في شركة الكهرباء ومواصلة الحصول على الخدمة..وعمل انثى لا تحمل شهادة توجيهي في روضة غير مرخصة لدعم عائلتها بما يقل عن الحد الأدنى للأجور… قوانين لا تطبق أو تفعل تؤدي للتدهور.. واخرى لا تطبق أو تفعل تترك مساحة للتنفس وفتحة في الحائط للهروب والبقاء في اللعبة

جلست أستمع لطلال ابو غزالة حيث وصف جامعته الجديد ب ‘ديمقراطية التعليم’ وعرف الدمقراطية بأنها الماساواة ومن ثم فسر بأن افتتاحه لجامعة رقمية بشهادات عالمية مثل كامبردج في الاردن هو الماساواة بحد ذاتها حيث من حق الجميع بلا استثناء الحصول على شهادات وتعليم جامعي عالمي وقوي. لم اعلم إن كان الأخ بحاجة لفهم انه لم يكن من الضروري إعطاء فلسفة غير منطقية لجامعة لا تحتاج لفلسفة سوى التعليم، ام انه بحاجة لفهم ان مساواة الأغنياء الاردنيين بالأغنياء الإنجليز ليست مساواة

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I swear I’m writing. Not here no. And not as much as you want me to. But I am writing nonetheless.

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Lately I’ve only been able to think when I’m writing. So even with silly things, some power seems to put down this massive brick over my brain stopping it from all activity. The ears would barely be processing any input as well. I have to pick up a pen and write. Then, and only then am I able to comprehend and then If wanted/needed analyze.

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I wish I could analyze more thoughts.
I wish I can explain to you/in words about the different kinds of pain.
I wish I can show you how my fingers almost bleed as I go at my typewriter with all the strength I can pull together.
I wish I can.

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I am making a list, of things to think/write about -since the 2 actions are to be connected from now on-. So maybe for future titles I can have: On craved attention. Or: On true excellence. On stringed conversations. On exhausted imaginations. On imperfect masks. On semi-controlled daydreams. On failed experiments.

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I was thinking. All the big writers are old ones. No -present- thing or person is yet to touch their writings or come even close. I can imagine all old writers typing their literature straight onto a typewriter. And I can see them fussing over minor mistakes, ink and straight lines. At the other end of the spectrum lies the time the typewriter gives you to think as you type. You can think things through. It’s a slow -and may i add again, finger hurting- process. It also provides space for lost connections between thoughts which can be used effectively to enhance the readers’ imagination. So writers nowadays seem to not be writing at all. And maybe even way back then, maybe these great names weren’t writing either. Maybe it was just fingers, time and an old typewriter. Maybe that was just it.

I remain unable to write anything about Palestine in time of Nakba. With each passing year I see more obstacles and more enemies, and that kills my soul.

But this sight, this video, shows that many wonderful things would happen, if we’d only try them.

We shall return.

The biggest comment on yesterdays demonstrations was that they were blocking traffic on one of the main roundabouts in Amman and that disrupting the flow of public life is a crime that one can be charged with. That is what prime minister Bakhit said yesterday in his interview on Jordan TV.

According to the Jordanian constitution, article 6.1 says: Jordanians shall be equal before the law. There shall be no discrimination between them as regards to their rights and duties on grounds of race, language or religion.

I only wonder why the police -whatever rank they are- are allowed to close the street like this to celebrate as if they won a war against someone who is trying to overthrow his Majesty King Abdullah. I also wonder why normal individuals, are closing the streets as well. Are these people any different from the ones demonstrating earlier? Aren’t they both demonstrating? Or is celebrating any different?

Another thing, since when are police allowed to go around celebrating anything in the first place? Their job is to protect Jordanians from harm and not to take either side.

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Now.. why are the police and gendarmerie (Darak) beating up the demonstrators who were actually trying to run away and are not fighting back or performing any wrong actions. See video below.. (warning: Very foul language in ALL videos below)

BUT!! They are doing abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING when it comes to anti-reformists who are in video number 1 throwing rocks at demonstrators, and in video number 2 replying to demonstrators with very foul language as they carry pictures of his Majesty.

I only wish his majesty king Abdullah watches these videos, as I hope all those responsible for the well being of our country do as well. They show beyond doubt that there is a huge miscommunication problem between what his Majesty says and between what the people hear as well as between those asking for reform and basically everyone else who is falsely understanding that as them being against our country in a way or another.

I salute all the demonstrators who practiced amazing self control and did not reply back in that last video. I know it must have been hard.

I am hugely shocked by the videos, images as well as by everything I’ve heard and read today and yesterday. I am mostly shocked by people I know that seem to not understand the concept of reform or even know what demonstrators want although this has been going on for a couple of months now.

The only loser yesterday was our country. Wounds will heal and the 2 dead will rest in peace I hope. But the images of what happened and the image we portrayed to others will forever stick with us unless we work our best at moving with real steps towards fixing our issues.

I wish we reach the stage in which all Jordanians fully comprehend the meaning of reform and know that what we ask for is our right to lead a better life. No one is against his majesty King Abdullah in any way, form or shape, yet some people seem to not understand that and use it as an excuse to keep their eyes closed. It’s a shame that I even have to write this down, but I know for sure some do think that way. Our ignorance seems to be hurting Jordan in the heart more than anything else.

Some love Jordan with a picture and a song, others love Jordan by demanding and working for real change that will take us higher. These 2 groups seem to be clashing at every level and I insist it’s out of ignorance and not out of understanding.

May our reform concentrate on opening up minds and not only political demands so as to reach every single one of us.


I’ve been here for over a year now but this is the first time I get tagged, so thank you Hamdanism.

“The Life is Good Award” is actually a scanned Hallmark greeting card that comes with some questions to answer, so here goes nothing.

1. If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this? If you aren’t anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously, so that you could be anonymous now?

If you only read my blog then I’m basically anonymous, but after twitter i guess everyone knows who I am. I would have loved to stay anonymous to be able to express much more here but I would have missed out on meeting tons of amazing people, I would have missed out on attending many events and doing many things. So maybe one should have 2 blogs, one anonymous and the other not so much :p.

2. Describe an incident that shows your inner stubborn side

Umm how do I do that? When one is stubborn he usually doesn’t see it as stubbornness.. so I can’t give a single incident, but I’ve been repeatedly told that I stubborn.

3. What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror?
I don’t want to say ‘fat’ and be all dramatic and stuff, but I guess I see whatever I’m feeling at the moment. Recently i’m seeing a lot of zits and black eye liner everywhere lol.

4. What is your favourite summer cold drink?

I like Lemon and mint.

5. When you take time for yourself, what do you do?

I haven’t had time for myself a lot lately, but when I do i like to read, surf the internet and read all those opened tabs. Bought a new camera so I’ll be spending some time with ‘her’ as well.

6. Is there something that you still want to accomplish in your life?

For sure! I haven’t done anything yet compared to what I want to do.

7. When you attended school, were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person, or always ditching?

I was the overachiever, then it all went down the drain on Tawjihi, not I’m just an average Joe.

8. If you close your eyes and want to visualize a very poignant moment in your life, what would you see?

I get all emotional when anything Palestine related comes my way, news, a song, a picture, a person, anything honestly. And it was such a huge thing for me when I went there.

9. Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog, or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people and events?

It’s relatively easy, but not too much. I convinced myself that this is my own personal space, and I seem to separate myself from what I write here sometimes, or pretend like I didn’t say it. For example I wouldn’t be comfortable writing some things on facebook, but I would do that here.

10. If you had the choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?

Two different things, I’d say talk on the phone a bit then read a bit :p.

I tag: Moh’d, Ola and Ammar 🙂

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