A long time ago i used to love my misery. Funny thing to say ah? Well i was young and stupid, the kind of stupid where you think your depression and darkness is so attractive and “cool”. I believe that bad things happen to those who go around looking for them. I used to love my problems, i loved embracing whatever it is that was going wrong, it was almost like feeding my anger and sadness to stay alive, not only being comfortable with their presence in my life, but also feeling that they were inevitable and more yet essential to have in my life in order for me to grow.

I felt i was more important than others who had no hardships in their lives, i felt like all the things that were happening to me where meant to be and were all part of Gods plan for me to become someone like no other, to become one of a kind. hmm…those adolescent years…they were something i tell you.

Long gone are those days. Now i am a seeker of happiness, i understand that a person has to work for it, REALLY work for it. And I do, i work hard for it, i try my best to stay away from the darkness i know i have inside of me because i know the kind of person i am. I know that the smallest things get me down and that the tiniest issues get me worked up when they might not be things that affect me at all. So i am happy most of the time now, but the second i let go and relax in an attempt to enjoy the happiness i have found it just seems to go away, as if telling me that i can never enjoy my happiness, that all the enjoyment i can ever get out of it is while looking for it.

Lately, after many conversations with a certain dear friend, i started to realize how much easier it is to create happiness than to go looking for it. I swear if only one fourth of this earth thought of this the universe would be such a nicer place. The wonderful thing about it is that each and every person has a unique opinion of what HIS happiness is, that would mean that happiness would be created through millions and millions of different things, that would mean it would somehow be..endless.

Personally i have thought long and hard about this and i have 2 projects in mind right now. I know both will create happiness in 2 different ways, the one thing in common is that both will get me my share of happiness in the process.

happiness
The first project is kind of personal, more on a small scale let’s say. I started with the very first step and i can’t wait to get some free time so i can start with it. It will bring me happiness while i work at it, it will bring me happiness every second i lay eyes on it and it will bring happiness to every single person who walks into my humble little room only to see my soul all over its walls.

I do not want to talk about it right now, i don’t think i can explain it with words. Once i start it will be much easier to explain. I am very excited :D.

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim

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